Issue #002: Do you ever get friendship crushes?

Hi {{first_name | friend}}!

Do you ever get friend crushes?

Like… you’re at a coffee shop or an event or sitting next to someone on the bus and immediately think:

I feel like we’d be friends.

Maybe it’s the book they’re reading (I’m constantly scanning for people reading Yesteryear!)The sassy slogan on their tote bag, or the fact that they seem to have the same Olivia Rodrigo album as you on repeat.

Or maybe you overheard one sentence of a conversation and suddenly it’s clear to you that this is your kindred spirit and you’d spend hours talking together over $16 mocktails.

And then… you don’t say anything.

I’ve been thinking about this lately because it seems like adult friendship is built on tiny moments like that.

Like, sparks of recognition.

Followed by:

“Should I say hi?….Would that be weird?… Do adults even do that?”

(They do.)

The funny thing is, based on my conversations with «gestures broadly»… so many people are yearning for connection but unsure how to proceed and/or assuming everyone else already has it figured out.

I just want to say, someone has to make the first move. So you can leave it up to chance, or you can take the reins and be the one to put yourself out there!

It can be scary, for sure. In fact, hot take, I think trying to make friends can be even more vulnerable than dating.

But, it’s SO worth the effort.

So consider this your sign.

Send the DM.

Reply to the Insta story.

Comment on the book their reading.

Invite them to coffee.

You never know what might happen!

- Janine

PS. I have at least two very close friends who I made (as an adult) by literally going up to them and asking “wanna be best friends?” …and they agreed. Unhinged? Probably. But I trusted my instincts and I was right! There really is someone for everyone 😅

FRIENDSHIP ASSIGNMENT

Three ideas for connection

Ask someone if they “wanna come with?”:

Do you ever get hung up on making plans with friends because you can’t think of what to invite them to do? Let’s take the pressure off. Instead of overthinking it, just invite someone to join you in doing an activity you’re already planning to do on your own.

Even if it’s something mundane like grocery shopping or your daily dog walk, the point is spending time with your pal not coming up with a super original hangout idea. Most people have busy lives, so inviting them to super casual hang might even be an easier “yes” than an “occasion.” I know for me, I’m much more compelled to do something if I can wear my comfies. 😅

What’s on your calendar this week that you could do with company?

Take a class with a friend:

A few months ago after multiple glasses of wine, a friend of mine talked a couple of us into joining her fitness class and it has been such a great experience. We just finished an 8-week program together through Tropos Fitness (such an amazing space and team), and it was so nice to have a weekly in-person class where we all got to see one another while working toward goals.

Now, you could do this with any type of class. Fitness was great for us, but your thing might be art, or choir, or learning a language. Whatever it is, taking a class with a friend is great for accountability and it’s an easy way to put a regular hang on the calendar while you both work toward a goal!

Host a sleepover:

Who says adults can’t have sleepovers? I did this a few years ago with a group of friends and it was so much fun. We did have to plan several months in advance to ensure everyone’s schedule aligned (no small feat). We did a potluck dinner and we just hung out and drank wine, played games, and swapped stories in our jammies.

You could turn this into a whole weekend getaway or just do it at someone’s house (that’s what we did). No matter what, it’s inevitably such a fun way to connect with your friends, no special occasion required.

❝

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What? You too? I thought I that no one but myself…”

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

WHERE TO BE A REGULAR

Hidden Gem Treat Shop

Hidden Gem is just the most darling patio cafe in the heart of Cook Street Village. They have a wonderful selection of treats, including vegan and gluten free options. It’s usually impossible to choose which delicious morsel I want.

I love stopping in here with friends for a treat before or after a walk on Dallas Road. If you sit in the cafe area, you will inevitably get to partake in some prime dog watching (and petting).

One of my favorite hobbies is attempting to force all of my friends to become friends with one another.

So in that spirit, your social homework this week is to introduce two people you think should know one another.

It’s been well established that people all over Victoria are craving more connection, so why not play your part?!

Set up a casual hang (a walk, coffee, a movie night), and introduce to people you think might have something in common. You could do this over text or email too, I suppose, but in the spirit of being social, why not make it an in-person intro?!

If you attempt this bestie-match making this week, reply to this email and let me know how it goes!

WORTH LEAVING THE HOUSE FOR

This week’s picks to connect and get out there!

This is definitely NOT an exhaustive list (The LampPost has you covered there). I chose events that I think offer opportunities to connect with folks who may have similar interests! This week’s picks are heavily craft & cat themed, which is a complete coincidence but I’m not mad about it 😉.

😻 Feature Event 😻

Wednesday, May 27

Thursday, May 28

Community Crafting Circle | This month we’re making paint chip chapbooks! All materials will be provided, RSVP at the link in bio, walk in spots also available as space allows. Bring your own mug for tea. | The NeighborSpace | 708 Douglas St. | By donation | Details

Friday, May 29

RAKATA Latin Night | After an unforgettable first RAKATA set, Montreal’s own 🇨🇴 @itsjampibaby is back for an even bigger night of Latin heat, Caribbean energy, and nonstop vibes. Time for another enormous RAKATA before summer. | Capital Ballroom | 858 Yates St. | 9 pm - 2 am | $18-23 | Tickets

Saturday, May 30

Sunday, May 31

Rooftop Dance Party | Start off your Sunday right by movin and groovin!! Jojo will lead you through an epic dance segment while you listen to bangers from Sportmode. This event is a movement based event, we recommend you wear something you’re comfortable sweating in and bring a water bottle. | Left on Friday | 2610 Rock Bay Ave. | 10 am - 12 pm | $40 | Tickets

Awakening Chinatown | Presented by the Victoria Chinatown Museum Society (VCMS) in partnership with Chinatown businesses, this free, family-friendly festival invites the community to gather in the heart of Victoria’s historic Chinatown for a day of culture, celebration, and connection. | Lower Fisgard St, Victoria | 11 am - 4:30 pm | Free | Details

Tuesday, June 2

Paddle and Pints | Every Tuesday night, head to the Ocean River downtown docks for our Paddle & Pint in partnership with @swiftbeer. You get an hour and a half on the water in a kayak, tandem kayak, or paddleboard, and a post-paddle pint at Swift. | Ocean River Sports | 450 Swift St. | 6 pm | $35 | Details

Have an event you want to share? Send me an email ([email protected])

COMMUNITY BULLETIN

Note: I have no additional information about these opportunities, I encountered them on Instagram and thought they might be of value to you.

Jobs

Off the Eaten Track is hiring charismatic guides to lead food tours
Let’s Talk is hiring a Social Media Manager and a Public Relations coordinator
Hey Happy is seeking a full-time barista
Power to Be is looking for a Director of Finance to join their team.
The Art Gallery of Great Victoria is hiring a Gallery Officer
Canadian Heritage Arts Society is hiring an Assistant to the Managing Director.
Sea Cider is hiring for multiple positions: kitchen assistant, retail specialist, hospitality associate
Youth Climate Corps is hiring Community Climate Action Mobilizers

Volunteer Opportunities

South Jubilee Neighborhood Association is looking for passionate neighbors to join our volunteer Board of Directors and volunteers for events like Parkfest and Get Growing.
Victoria Women’s Transition House Society is seeking three Volunteer Board members for a two year term.
Abkhazi Garden is looking for a creative and organized volunteer Social Media Coordinator — could be a good opportunity to build your portfolio!

Do you have a job, gig or volunteer opportunity to share? Email me to include it!

ONE MORE THING

I’d love to know:

What’s bringing you joy right now?

Gardening? A good book? A funny thing your kid/pet/spouse did recently? A professional breakthrough?

Hit reply and let me know!

My two year old niece recently tried cookie dough for the first time and adorably asked “what’s this in mouth?” and upon learning it was cookie dough, proclaimed “it’s nummy, auntie!” and this moment has been living in my brain on repeat ever since. 🙃

That’s all for this week!

Issue #002: Do you ever get friendship crushes?