Issue #003: The freedom of meeting strangers

Hi {{first_name | friend}}!

As I get older, I’ve realized that I really enjoy meeting new people.

Which feels like a major revelation because, if asked, I would probably describe myself as introverted, bookish, and historically a little socially anxious around strangers.

But I think maybe those are old versions of myself that I’ve grown out of.

There’s something about meeting new people that I find deeply freeing. It’s a clean slate. They don’t have any preconceived notions about me—no shared history, known conflicts, expectations to live up to. I’m not bound by the unwritten rules that naturally build up in long-standing relationships.

I can just be myself in that moment.

I’m extremely fortunate to have an amazing group of friends, many of whom I’ve known since elementary school and high school. There’s something really beautiful about being deeply known by people. About having shared history. Shared growth. Years of memories and challenges behind you.

I think those kinds of relationships create a deep sense of confidence and belonging. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

But in long-term relationships, communication patterns emerge. Familiar roles settle in. And sometimes those dynamics can be hard to step outside of. (Not that that’s BAD, it’s just different.)

That’s part of why I think it’s so healthy to spend time with new people.

There’s a little more effort involved. You’re reading body language more carefully, paying attention, asking questions, listening closely. But there’s something really interesting about having someone reflect you back to yourself without any history attached. It feels clarifying somehow.

And people are just… fascinating.

I love hearing how people grew up, what they believe, what they’re interested in, what they’re building, who they love and why, the art that speaks to them, the experiences that have shaped them.

I’ve always loved traveling for that reason. One of the best parts of travel is meeting people from all walks of life who I probably never would have crossed paths with otherwise. I’ve had so many fascinating conversations with my seat mates on airplanes.

But lately I’ve been realizing I don’t actually have to travel to experience that.

There are so many opportunities to meet new people right here in Victoria, and I feel like I’m only just beginning to uncover them.

Recently I went to a Let’s Talk Live event here in Victoria, a conversation group that meets a couple of times a week, and I found it really wonderful.

There was no pressure to be anything other than yourself. Just people showing up, sitting together, and talking.

I left feeling energized in that specific way that comes from connecting with new people—hearing perspectives I wouldn’t otherwise hear, sharing stories, and being reminded how many interesting people are living full lives all around.

I think we all want to feel known.

To feel like we belong somewhere. To feel recognized. To feel like our presence matters.

And while some of that comes from our deepest friendships and closest relationships, I’m starting to think some of it comes from smaller interactions too.

From being noticed by someone new.

From being asked a thoughtful question.

From sharing a laugh with someone you met ten minutes ago.

From hearing “me too.”

Not every connection needs to become a friendship to be meaningful.

Sometimes a conversation lasts an hour. Sometimes five minutes. Sometimes it never extends beyond that moment. But it can still stay with you.

I think we underestimate how powerful these small interactions are. How affirming it feels to be witnessed by another person, even briefly.

How energizing it is to step outside your routine and into someone else’s perspective for a while.

And maybe that’s part of how community gets built.

Not only through lifelong friendships or formal groups, but through repeated moments of openness. Through casual conversations. Introductions. Familiar faces. Tiny interactions that stack up over time until a place begins to feel warmer, more connected, more alive.

Talking to people in person feels simple, but maybe it’s not small.

Maybe it’s part of the social fabric that holds everything together.

So this week, I hope you find a reason to get out into the community.

Try something new. Start a conversation. Stay open to connection.

You never know who you might meet or what might come from it.

Until next week,

Janine 💛

FRIENDSHIP ASSIGNMENT

Three ideas for connection

Years ago, on an episode of Gilmore Girls, Rory attended an ice cream social, and I always wondered what that was. Well, I finally got around to Googling it and learned that it’s “an informal social event at which the main focus is the serving and eating of ice cream.”

Say less.

Gather your pals, set up an array of ice cream toppings, and have everyone bring a pint of their favorite flavor. Simple and delightful!

Have a Master Class night

I came across this idea on Instagram and they suggested hiring an expert to teach you and your friends something you’ve always wanted to learn more about. Cooking, painting, gardening. Anything that you’re curious about!

Or, my spin on this: Make this a series of gatherings in which you and your friends take turns teaching one another something new. We all have diverse skills and interests I think it could be really fun for the friend group to share their expertise* (or interest!) with the rest of the group.

*Reminder: to be an expert in this scenario you only need to know more than the rest of the group.

Have a couch hang:

Seriously. Just have people over to chill on the couch. Wear your comfies, brew up some cozy beverages and chat. It’s cheap, easy, and can be super spontaneous.

This is perfect for those times when you’re all tired, but still craving connection. I know this isn’t reinventing the wheel, but when was the last time you did it? Hanging out doesn’t always need to be high production value. Sometimes you just need face time.

❝

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Anais Nin

WHERE TO BE A REGULAR

Government House Gardens

The Government House gardens are stunning, open daily, and free to visit. It’s the perfect spot for a solo or group picnic, a peaceful stroll, or a scene to sketch or paint. And some weekends you can see live music at the band shell. Bring a book and post up on the grass for an afternoon!

In the spirit of meeting new people, your social homework this week is to attend a community event and talk to people.

There is SO MUCH going on right now, which means tons of opportunities to put yourself out there. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, just stay open. Say hi to people, make eye contact, ask someone in the coffee line how their day is going. That’s it!

If you give this a shot this week, reply to this email and let me know how it goes!

WORTH LEAVING THE HOUSE FOR

This week’s picks to connect and get out there!

There are so many events right now that this section of the newsletter could spin wildly out of control. As always, I’ve picked happenings that I think offer the opportunity for social interaction and community involvement!

Feedback? Reply and let me know what types of events you want more of!

Ongoing

Paddle and Pints | Every Tuesday night, head to the Ocean River downtown docks for our Paddle & Pint in partnership with @swiftbeer. You get an hour and a half on the water in a kayak, tandem kayak, or paddleboard, and a post-paddle pint at Swift. | Ocean River Sports | 450 Swift St. | 6 pm | $35 | Details

Thursday, June 4

Mixed Media Art Night| Join Ecologyst and Surfrider Vancouver Island in celebrating World Ocean Week by creating handmade postcards using fabric scraps and secondhand materials and through collage, drawing, and painting, we’ll explore how creativity and reuse can inspire more thoughtful relationships with the things we consume and the ecosystems we impact. | Ecologyst | 552 Johnson St. | 5:30 - 6:30 PM | By donation | Details

Friday, June 5

Groove Kitchen Dance Party | Dance the night away to Groove Kitchen’s red-hot mix of funk, Latin, reggae and soul. Dancers love the band's mix of music, which ranges from interpretations of classics by Maceo Parker, Steven Wonder and James Brown to reinventions of contemporary tunes by Bruno Mars and Justin Timberlake. | Oak Bay Rec Center | 1975 Bee St | 7:30 - 10:30 | $30 | Tickets

Saturday, June 6

Vic West Fest | A free outdoor festival for all ages that celebrates the community of Vic West. There will be vendors, performers, and more. | Banfield Park | 12 - 6 PM | Details

Redfern Commons Work Party | Head to Redfern Park to join this community garden work party. Gardening tools provided. Suitable for all ages and abilities. | Redfern Park | 10 AM - 12 PM | Details

Paws and Pints | Bosley’s on Yates collaborates with The Drake Eatery to bring a fun-filled afternoon of craft beer, adorable pets, amazing local vendors, raffles, photo ops, and community support all in one place. | The Drake Eatery, Market Square | 11 AM - 4 PM | Details

Sunday, June 7

Little Fernwood Work Party | Drop in anytime to lend a hand – there’s always lots to do – painting, cleaning, organizing – and good snacks, music and company. The Little Fernwood Building loves being filled up with and tended by neighbours. | Little Fernwood Gallery | 1921 Fernwood Rd | 1 - 4 PM | Details

Have an event you want to share? Send me an email ([email protected])

COMMUNITY BULLETIN

Note: I have no additional information about these opportunities, I encountered them on Instagram and thought they might be of value to you.

Jobs

My Chosen Cafe is hiring two line cooks
City of Victoria is hiring folks to support the upcoming municipal election
Saanich Organics seeks to fill a Sales and Administrative role.
Intrepid Theatre is hiring a Box Office and Front of House Manager
Royal & McPherson Theatres are hiring an assistant technical director
Category 12 Beer is hiring kitchen staff
Good News Skate Shop is looking to add a member to their team
Hey Happy is looking for a head baker

Volunteer Opportunities

Victoria Therapeutic Riding is hosting a volunteer orientation on June 4th at 5:30 pm. There’s not obligation to commit.
Crafting Connection seeks volunteers to assist with summer events
Oaklands Community Association seeks volunteers to help with events and Sunset Markets
Victoria Native Friendship Center is looking for volunteers to help with the Back to School Picnic

Do you have a job, gig or volunteer opportunity to share? Email me to include it!

ONE MORE THING

I’d love to know:

What’s your perfect summer day?

Mine is warm weather and a waterside picnic with a good book and good friends. Or cold drinks on a sunny patio. ☀️

Hit reply and tell me yours!

That’s all for this week!

Issue #003: The freedom of meeting strangers